The Nonrunner's Marathon Training
Your guide to get you from recliner to race day.


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The Nonrunner's
Marathon Guide
for Women
February 2007
Seal Press

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"This is a funny guide that provides needed motivation for a journey that can change your life for the better."

—U.S. Olympian Jeff Galloway,
author of the bestselling book Marathon

Welcome to the running world
my fellow couch potatoes.

Welcome one and all to my little slice of the web devoted to the hell that is running. This site is a great place for all runners to come and bond over the ridiculousness of running in circles as a hobby.

Unlike other running sites this one has a bit more realistic tone. We are not all super-humans capable of running miles at a time only to end up exactly where we started. That is why God invented cars. And Advil.

This site will be the one place you can come and know that you are not alone in your running struggles. It’s okay if you don’t look anything like the happy runners featured on the pages of all the various running magazines. Those people are not normal and should have their smiles and rock hard abs knocked right off of them. As soon as I catch up to them I’ll be sure to get right on that.

Awhile back I decided to train for a marathon. Why run 300 miles in 4 months? I'm still trying to figure that out. And I'm still trying to find my kneecap. Let me know if you see it.

Until then I hope you can benefit from my pain and experience in the running world. I gathered all I know about running and made it into an easy to follow guide with a picture of a recliner on the front. Most professional runners would advise you to visualize the finish line in order to help you through a race - I’d recommend visualizing a recliner. This always seemed a lot more enticing than a finish line to me.